Fairywings
by demented cookies
Summary: Artemis is in San Francisco visiting relatives when something bad, really bad, happens in Haven. How can he help with an annoying teenage basketball jock tagging along at his heels? Is Haven doomed? Better than it sounds! Please R&R!
1. Friendly People

Chapter one: Friendly People

**Artemis' POV**

The sky was blue and the trees were green and sparkling with dew. The grass by the side of the sidewalk glistened in the morning air. Birds sitting on the telephone wires overhead sang in high chirps. Pure white clouds drifted over our heads. Children laughed as they slid down the slide and swung on the swings in the playground. The flowers on the bushes in the park called to us to come and smell them. It was a beautiful day. I felt like I was floating on a cloud all alone in the shining, blue sky. I lifted my face to the cool breeze and breathed in deep. I could smell the trees, the grass, the air. It was gorgeous. I breathed in deeper. The ugly smell of car exhaust filled my nose and I coughed. Then I remembered. Our car had broken down a few minutes ago.

Butler was hunched over the open hood of the car. His hands and face were covered in soot but he didn't notice. I decided to walk on further so as not to have to breathe in the disgusting smoke. I strolled down the paved trail in Parkside Square. Being in the park was even better than just looking at it. It was sunny and green. Very unusual for winter. Well, it _was _San Francisco. There are only two seasons in San Francisco: Spring and Autumn. Now it was "Spring."

I fallowed the path down to the basketball court. The court was in a grove of tall trees. It was unusually clean. At most public courts I've seen chewing gum covers it like a blanket, the hoops are missing and the only people who hang out in it are teenage boys with their pants hanging down to their knees. Repulsive. Here in Parkside Square, the painted lines on the asphalt were clear, the hoops were not only there but the nets were white and the hoops were bright orange, and the people occupying it were a pair of maybe fourteen year old girls shooting hoops like pros. I was just about to continue my stroll when a hard orange basketball hit me in the side. It hurt.

The girls came rushing. "Oh my god!" one of them said. She had short brown hair but long enough to put in a small ponytail. She wore a basketball jersey with a white T-shirt underneath and basketball shorts and glasses. "Are you okay?"

"Shoot! I didn't even see him!" She, too, wore a basketball outfit. Her long black hair was put up in a ponytail. "You alright?"

I sat up. "I'm fine. It is not the first time someone hit me."

"That's a relief." The black-haired girl said picking up the ball and brushing it off. "Good thing my ball's not dirty. I got it yesterday."

"Gosh, Sarah!" The brown-haired girl exclaimed. "People _before_ objects, 'kay?"

"You sound like my mother." The girl called Sarah muttered as the other girl helped me up.

"Uh, sorry about that." The taller girl said as she took out her ponytail. Her brown hair fell almost down to her shoulders but not quite. "We were really getting into the game we didn't see you."

"Don't worry about it. It happens all the time."

"Oh, okay." She glanced at her watch her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. "Holy cow! Look at the time. I had to be home five minutes ago. Mom's gonna kill me! Bye." She said, grabbed her jacket off the bench and ran. "See ya, Sarah!"

"Hay! Where're you going?" Sarah called after her.

"Home. Catch you later. Bye."

"Tomorrow?"

"Maybe."

"Hm," I said to myself, "friendly people." I heard my father calling for me to come. I guess the car was fixed.

**A/N: There, better? The more and more I thought about the previous try writing this fic, the more and more and more I knew it sucked. Here. Hopefully the last try. Hope you like it. Please R&R!**


	2. Rich Guests From Ireland

Chapter three: Rich Guests From Ireland**  
**

**Lauryn's POV**

**A/N: No you did not miss an Artemis Fowl book. Lauryn is purely my character. I made her based on me. The only thing is she's a little older than me.**

I picked up the hair brush and started untangling the knots in my hair. For some reason my mom wanted me to look my best when our guests arrived. She even picked out my clothes: A beautiful embroidered blouse and a brown silk skirt. Even she never dressed like that. Yes, maybe for my uncle's performance when he starred in the Broadway musical "The King and I" she dressed in her gorgeous gown from China but usually she wears a sweatshirt and sweatpants.

I pulled on my blouse and buttoned it. I admit it was beautiful but it's just not my style. I slipped on my skirt and put a clip in my hair to keep my bangs out of my eyes. After putting on some lip balm I rushed upstairs to wait. My parents told me about the Fowls. They were my dad's cousin's wife's cousin so they're not really blood related. Dad said that they're really rich and live in a huge mansion in Ireland. I heard about Ireland. I heard everyone there hang out in pubs and drink themselves silly all the time. I heard they believe that little men in red beards and knickers run around fields of shamrocks with a pot of gold. I heard they chase rainbows. I find all of those things hard to believe but here in the US people drink and smoke themselves to death. And everywhere people believe in God and Buddha so why not believe in little men? But why anyone would chase rainbows is beyond me.

I ran to the stereo upstairs immediately. I quickly picked out some of my favorite music. Arlo Guthrie, Joan Baez, Abigail Washburn. Oh and of course. How could I leave out the Dixie Chicks? I put all of my favorite CDs in the stereo and shuffled them. Then I ran to help mom with the dessert.

**Artemis' POV**

We drove up – AVE and looked for the address number. We stopped at the white house with the purple leaf plum tree in front. A bio diesel Mercedes Benz was parked in the driveway. Bio diesel. I heard of that. It's a fuel made purely of soy beans and isn't bad for the environment unlike gasoline or diesel.

Mother unbuckled the twins and cradled them in her arms. Butler opened the door for me and I stepped out. Then the driver of the rented limo opened the trunk of the car and unloaded the luggage. He and Butler heaved them up the one outside flight of stairs. Father knocked on the door.

**Lauryn's POV**

We heard a knock on the door. It was them. Mom rushed to the door, but not without checking her hair. She opened the door.

**Artemis' POV**

Mrs. Jeffreys opened the door. She had short black hair that was combed neatly and she wore a Chinese skirt and blouse. "Goodness, Angeline!" She exclaimed and hugged my mother. "You haven't changed a bit!"

"Neither have you! It is simply wonderful to see you again." Mother replied returning the embrace.

"Oh, Artemis!" Mrs. Jeffreys cried this time hugging my father, "How are you? Is all well?"

Then she saw me. "Oh. My. God." She said in utter shock. "You must me Artemis Fowl Jr.! Last time I saw you you were two years old! You've changed so much! How old are you now? About eighteen?"

"Yes." I replied lamely.

"Mr. Butler." She said addressing my bodyguard and shook his hand. "How are you?" then she saw the twins. "Oh, my goodness gracious me oh my! These must be the twins! They are simply adorable!" She cooed.

"Oh, how rude of me." She said placing a hand on her heart. "Come in, come in. You must be freezing out there. Winters can be harsh here.

'Freezing?' I thought to myself. 'This is by far the warmest winter I have ever witnessed.'

Nonetheless, Mrs. Jeffreys dragged us indoors. The smell of barbequed sausages filled the small entryway. The song "Cowboy Take Me Away" by the Dixie Chicks was playing on the stereo. "Artemis," she said addressing me instead of my father. "I heard you had gone missing just over three years ago. That must have been horrifying."

"Yes," I replied, "It was quite an adventure."

"Did the kidnappers just let you go?"

"No. But, um, it's just too horrible to talk about." I said with a chuckle.

"Of course. I won't ask."

Mrs. Jeffreys daughter came in from the hallway. As soon as I saw her, my eyes opened wide and my jaw almost dropped to the ground. I recognized her. Her hair brown hair was down and she wore a skirt and blouse, but she was clearly recognizable. Her eyes, too, opened wide behind her glasses as she recognized me. She was the girl from the basketball court.

**A/N: There, big cliffhanger for those who didn't read "Disaster in the LEP Labs." Just letting some readers who don't know start knowing, the " –AVE" and the "address number----" is just me being paranoid about my address.**


	3. Annoying Questions

Chapter three: Annoying Questions

**Lauryn's POV**

My greatest surprise was not just seeing the boy from the park here in my house, on my rug, breathing my air, but how young he looked. Mom said he was eighteen but he looked three years too young. Though I must admit, he was kind of cute.

"Lauryn," Mom said to me, "would you be so kind as to show our guests around the house?"

"Uh, righto." I muttered, "I'm on my way."

"So here," I announced as we reached my room, "is the pig sty." The big, maybe seven foot tall man chuckled. Artemis had on his everlasting blank expression. It was true, my room was, is, and always will be a sty. I continued leading them on to the dining room, living room, "purple room", TV room, kitchen, and, of course, the bathrooms. I helped them get their luggage into the "purple room", also called the guest room.

As soon as the big guy left the room to talk with the grown ups the boring things grown ups talk about, I asked Artemis, "Did you really get kidnapped?"

"No, I ran away from my beautiful mansion, from the parents who care so much about me and I came back three years later hurt and dirty." He said sarcastically. "Of course I got kidnapped."

"Uh, right, I knew that." I paused for a moment. "Why do you have differently colored eyes?"

"No reason."

"Please?" I made my best innocent bunny look.

"No." he replied, unperturbed.

"At least tell me, are all Irish people all formal like you?"

"Say what?"

"I mean, you always speak in complete sentences and you're wearing a suit for goodness sakes."

"Is there any problem with that?" he asked.

"I didn't say there was."

"Alright, no, not all Irish people are formal like me. There are many Irish people who drink all day long and hang out in disgusting pubs."

"Oh. Okay."

"Hey, Lauryn!" My dad called from the deck. "Come set the table."

"Coming." I called back.

I left Artemis, to go set the table for diner. Time flies.

**A/N: But it really is true. My room _is_ a sty. Anyway, action starts in next chapter, action lovers!**


	4. After Dinner

Chapter four: After Dinner

**Lauryn's POV **

We ate a delicious dinner of barbecued sausages and potatoes. My dad is the master when it comes to the grill. Mom always said that's why she married him but I don't believe her.

"Mmm," Mr. Fowl said to my dad, "Miguel, what's your secret?"

"No secret." Dad replied. "Just turn on the grill, lay them on and take them off. Nothing more."

"There must be something. I've never made sausages like this."

"You've never made sausages." Mrs. Fowl said. Everyone laughed. The conversations went on like that: Someone says something and someone says something back and everyone cracks up. Sooner or later we all finished our plates and mom brought out a pie. Everybody ooh-ed and ah-ed from the smell.

"Terra makes the best pies." Dad said.

"I don't doubt you."

We had the pie with whipped cream, cherries, sprinkles, chocolate syrup and ground Oreo cookies. It was the best blackberry, apple, mango pie my mom had ever made. It was also the first.

I grew dark and the stars came out. Everyone went to get in their PJs and brush their teeth. Everyone was in the bathroom getting ready while I was getting the dishes in the washer. God knows what the Fowl boy was doing. Since the dining room is right next to the guest room and the guest room door is thin, I could hear lots of what was going on.

"Another case, Holly?" I heard Artemis say. Funny. I thought the grown ups were talking in the kitchen. And neither of the twins were named "Holly."

"Yeah," A mechanical yet female voice said, "sorry to bother you but I can't figure it out."

"Go ahead." The one called Holly relayed a whole plot that would make a great crime movie. When she was done, Artemis gave her a solution which she graciously accepted.

"Thanks, Arty."

"Don't call me that."

"Juliet does."

"Juliet does because she could beat me into a coma if I told her not to."

"So could I."

"So could you but not with Butler around."

"Neither could Juliet."

"Butler wouldn't hurt his sister."

"Good point. Bye."

"Bye. Oh, and please don't call me. I'm at someone else's house for about a month, okay?"

" 'Kay. Bye."

"Bye."

He hung up the phone. _Who's Holly?_

**A/N: Well, action sort of. Not really.**


	5. Basketball

Chapter five: Basketball

**Artemis' POV**

I let out a deep sigh and closed the communicator with a click. Just as I had tucked it away, Mother came in through one of the doors as if on cue.

"Bedtime, Arty." She said treating me more like a toddler than an eighteen year old. "Have you brushed your teeth and hair?"

"Yes, Mother."

"Good boy. Now please get into you pajamas and under the covers."

I did as she said and grabbed my book right before I got in bed. I lay down and opened the book to page 287. I had started yesterday night and I wasn't making very good progress. There were still 231 more pages to go. The minutes ticked by. 8:30…8:45…9:00…9:45…before I knew it the clock read 11:30. I sighed and put down my book. It was getting really exciting. I turned off the light and pulled the covers up to my neck and fell asleep.

**Lauryn's POV**

I woke up at 9:45 and stretched. I love winter break. No school for two whole weeks! I turned over and reached for a comic book. Most of the kids at school like Japanese comics; anime is what they call them. Personally, I prefer American comic books like Arana and some older European comics like Tintin. I also enjoy Nausicaä. This time I decided to read one of my newer Arana comics. Just as I was opening it, Dad called down the laundry chute, "Lauryn, we're having waffles!"

I rolled my eyes. "Coming, Dad!" Usually I love waffles but I hadn't read my latest Arana in, like, a century. Reluctantly I got up and went upstairs in my PJs. Breakfast today was like dessert yesterday: all sugary and sweet. The blackberries were the best part.

Then I remembered last night. Who exactly is this Holly? Was she a cop? She seemed involved with a sort of crime. Maybe a criminal? Would Artemis talk to criminals? It all seemed so fictional. Why would someone like Artemis talk to a cop or criminal? Well, I don't know Artemis well enough yet.

The rest of the morning passed smoothly without any special events. Then I got a call from Sarah saying she wanted to meet me at the park in ten minutes. I agreed. When I got dressed, brushed my teeth and hair, and put my hair in a ponytail to keep it out of my eyes, I went to get my basketball.

"Dad," I called from the hall closet, "have you seen my ball?"

"No. I don't think so."

"Darn."

"Have you looked in the basement?"

"Yeah."

Artemis just happened to be in the room. "How about the room with the sofa-bed?" He suggested.

I looked. There in was tucked away behind a pillow. I looked at him and he raised an eyebrow. "Problem solved." He said.

I frowned. "Are you psychic or something?"

"Maybe."

I've always enjoyed the walk to the court. It's nice and quiet and relaxing. The trees shake their leaves in a nice calming way and birds chirp in voices nicer than a choir. I bounced the ball. It was a little flat.

"What took you so long?" Sarah asked when I got there.

"I couldn't find my ball."

"Great. You're always late. First you say your sister was hogging the bathroom, then you say you couldn't find your ball. Next thing I know you'll say you were kidnapped by aliens."

"The important thing is that I'm here."

"Enough with the small talk. Let's play."

We shot some hoops and played a one-on-one game. It was fun. When we were all tired and sweaty Sarah said, "Want some ice cream?"

"You got any?"

"No, but he does," she said pointing to an ice cream vendor, "and I got money." Sarah had an ice cream Popsicle shaped like Spiderman while I had a normal Popsicle shaped like a rocket.

I looked at my watch. It was 4:30. "Oh, God! Mom's gonna want me home in five seconds!"

"Why are you always late for everything?"

"Sorry. See you tomorrow."

"You too."

I picked up my lazy butt and started for home. Something hit me. Whatever it was, it hurt.

**A/N: Ooooh! Suspense! I love suspense. Please review. Pretty please!**


	6. Sneaking

Chapter six: Sneaking

**Lauryn's POV**

It was an acorn. _That's funny, _I thought, _I thought those trees only produced pinecones. _I looked at the acorn in my hand as I rubbed the now swelling part of my head. I turned it over and over in my hand. I was startled by a sharp pain in my finger. I dropped the acorn and examined my hand. Nothing. I shrugged my shoulders and continued home. Mom would be having kittens if I got home too late. I did.

"Lauryn!" My mom exclaimed. "Where were you? You were supposed to be home five minutes ago!"

"Sorry, mom. Lost track of the time."

"Hurry up and get into some new clothes! We're going out for dinner tonight." I obeyed and got into some jeans and a T-shirt. I hurried outside with the Fowl's and my parents.

"Where shall we go tonight?" My dad said.

"Ooh! Ooh!" I shouted. "I know! How about Tower Burger?"

"I don't think so."

"Alright then, how about Bashful Bull?"

"No."

"Tennessee Grill?"

"Nope."

"But those are all the good places!"

"How about the Korean place up the block?" Mom suggested. Everyone agreed, even me.

As we walked up the hill, I had this strange feeling that someone…or something…was watching me. I looked around and when I didn't see anything suspicious shrugged off the feeling with a shake of my head.

"Here's the place," mom said as we entered a delicious-smelling, incredibly tiny, homey restaurant.

"Mmm!" I said. "Smells good!"

We ordered and the food came. The great thing about this place is that you get your appetizer and a delicious fish free. The food is really good and while you're waiting you can almost taste the food already from the smell. My sister didn't really want to go here because there's a pizza parlor across the street but for the first time in a long time, we managed to persuade her.

Something rang. "Oh," Artemis said as he checked a little phone in his pocket, "That's mine." He rushed outside as he picked it up.

We returned home full and ready to close our eyes and slip into bed. All the adults were falling asleep on their feet. The twins already were asleep. As the adults shuffled off to their sleeping quarters dad called, "Lauryn, come downstairs."

"Be down in a sec," I called after him. I wasn't in the least bit sleepy. I decided to stay up as long as I was wide awake. I turned on the computer and continued my fan fiction on called _The Girl and the Spider_. It was for Arana. I heard noises by the front door. As I crept up, I saw it was Artemis. He slowly opened the door so as not to make a sound and snuck outside. I snuck along right after him.

**A/N: Mwahahaha! More suspense! Keep watching for the next chapter!**


	7. Going to Haven

Chapter seven: Going to Haven

Life is strange. Sometimes after summer vacation when you have to go to school, you feel all sad and disappointed and you don't want to go. But when you get there all your old friends are there with exciting summer stories that are so amazing you'd think they were fantasy and there are pizza parties and ice cream parties and you never want to go home.

Sometimes all the kids are reading a book that they talk about with each other 24/7 and you really want to read it and when you do, it turns out really boring. Or maybe everyone thinks it's horrible and it turns out really good.

And sometimes you eavesdrop on your eighteen-year-old guest and you hear him talking to someone involved with some sort of crime maybe a cop and when you see that person she turns out to be a three-foot-tall I-don't-know-what. That's what happened to me.

I was hiding behind the garbage can in front of my house. It stunk but it was worth it.

"Why did you drag me out here?" I heard Artemis say in a hushed voice to a small female figure with a crew cut and a black uniform. She held a helmet under her arm.

"We need your help again." She said. Again? I thought. What does she mean by 'again?'

"Foaly's got Pyoderma and he can't come to Section 8 HQ even if he tried." The small woman went on.

"Give him my sympathy."

"That's not all. There's a fugitive dwarf on the loose and none of Foaly's gadgets seem to be working. Not even the neutrinos. Artemis, you're the only one who can match Foaly's intelligence. We need your help."

"I'm on it." Artemis said. It was then I did a very stupid thing. I stood up.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. Two pairs of eyes turned my way.

**Artemis' POV**

"Lauryn!" I said but not too loudly so as not to wake the neighbors. "What are you doing?"

"Eavesdropping," she replied, "What does it look like?"

"You're not supposed to be here," I said, "this is private and doesn't involve you." Next to me, Holly shielded.

"Hey," Lauryn said, "where'd she go?"

"Who?"

"The little lady. She was there just a moment ago."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Get back inside."

"No."

"Yes."

"Just cause you're four years older than me doesn't mean you can tell me whether to go inside or not."

"You are going inside," I said, "because I am."

"You can go first."

"No I won't. Ladies first."

"No."

"Hurry up," I said. Just then Holly unshielded.

"She already saw me." She said in Gnommish. "We might as well let her come. After we get this all sorted out, we can mind wipe her and send her back up."

"You're right." I said back.

"Well?" Lauryn said, tired of being ignored.

"You're coming with us." I said and neglected to mention the mind wiping.

**Lauryn's POV**

The underground rocket thingy was impressive. "Cool," I said, "Can I drive?"

"No," The tiny woman said. I think Artemis called her Holly a few minutes ago.

"Why not?"

"I'll give you three reasons. One: You're not trained. Two: You're human. And three: It's dangerous."

"Fine then," I muttered under my breath.

When the doors of the rocket thingy opened I saw dozens of little men scurrying around. It looked like some sort of techy Santa's workshop. The ceiling was low and I had to duck slightly. When Artemis and I walked into the small room, all the little men stopped to look at us wide eyed. I tried to imitate Artemis by keeping my eyes forward and expressionless. As we neared a pair of metal double doors more and more little people stared at us. I felt like an animal in a zoo. They all seemed to let Holly through, as if she was their superior. Our guide ordered a small, green-skinned, winged man to do something. She was speaking that weird language she and Artemis spoke back in San Francisco but I could tell it was an order because she used that firm tone of voice mom uses when she wants me to do my homework and because as soon as she finished, he pulled a lever and the doors slid open.

She walked inside and Artemis and I fallowed.

**Artemis' POV**

Foaly's lab was just how I remembered it. Even so, I dared not touch anything in case of causing an unnecessary accident. "Lauryn," I said, "please try not to touch anythi…"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lauryn touch something. All the lights in Haven went out. Outside, I heard some children screaming, babies wailing, and men and women alike going crazy trying to get their offspring to settle down.

"I-didn't-do-it." Lauryn said in one breath.

"Yes you did." I said menacingly.

"No I didn't"

"Yes you did."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"What proof do you have?"

"You touched something and the lights went out. That's proof enough."

"Coulda' been you."

"No it couldn't."

"Yes it could."

"No, I was just standing here."

"You just standing there coulda' done it."

"No it couldn't" The lights came back on.

"I did that." Lauryn claimed.

"No you didn't" I sighed.

"Yes I did."

"No you didn't"

"Yes, I di…" There was a boom. Half of the neighboring building collapsed. Silence. "I didn't do that." Lauryn whispered.

I didn't say anything. Because for once I agreed with her. She didn't do it.

**A/N: Please comment! Pretty, pretty please!**


	8. A Big Pile of Rocks

Chapter eight: A Big Pile of Rocks

**Lauryn's POV**

The huge KABOOM! rumbled the whole building. People continued screaming. "Well there is a good part of this." Holly said.

"And what's that?" I asked, puzzled by such an untimely comment.

"That was Spud's ."

I still didn't get it. Obviously I was still in the dark around here. We heard sirens. "Shall we go?" Artemis said.

"Of course," Holly said, "To the LEP mobile!" Artemis rolled his eyes.

The police van was impressive. It held many things for such a small vehicle. The walls, at least the parts that weren't covered by racks of weapons and armor, were shiny metal and looked like the sides of a hot dog van. The weapons weren't anything I'd seen before. They were small, like undersized pistols, no longer than my hand, but looked incredibly dangerous. As the three of us climbed in, I could smell the strong scent of hot dogs. No wonder the walls looked that way. Holly sat down in the driver's seat and pressed in the code. I guess fairies don't use keys. She stepped on the gas pedal and we took off like a rocket.

I checked the speedometer. It read 167mph. "Have you checked the speed limit lately?" I asked.

Holly didn't take her eyes off of the road. "Nope," she said.

We came to a jerking halt at the destruction site. I got thrown forward in my seat and my head hit the seat in front of me. I felt dizzy and stumbled out the door after Artemis. My head reeled and my eyes couldn't adjust clearly. When I caught sight of the disaster, my eyes unfocused even more. When they focused, what I saw shocked and horrified me. What had been a building now looked like a junkyard combined with a cemetery. Metal and rock were piled up high along with bodies of unfortunate fairies. Medics were carrying stretchers which held wounded elves, sprites, dwarves, and pixies. I didn't know what to say. "That's a big pile of rocks." Was the only thing I could think of that wouldn't make me burst into tears.

"It sure is." I guess the captain was feeling the same way. Then she put on some LEP protection gloves and a protective LEP helmet and made her way through the rubble towards some similarly clad medics and other LEP officers.

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait. I've just been busy with homework and stuff. I'm so busy, I'm even behind in my reading. A bookaholic behind in her reading. That's funny. **

Chapter nine:

**Lauryn's POV**


	9. A Chat With Foaly

Chapter nine: A Chat With Foaly

**Lauryn's POV**

When we made it back to LEP HQ, we were all tired and hungry. "Whoever did this," Holly said as she went to the refrigerator, or more like something that resembled a refrigerator, to get something to eat, "sure covered up his tracks."

"Does that mean you have no idea?" I asked.

"Yep," she replied.

"Do you think," Artemis said, "that this may have something to do with your fugitive dwarf?"

"Maybe," Captain Short said as she bit into her apple, "but probably not. This dwarf isn't in Haven. I don't see how he could collapse a whole building from the surface."

"Do you think it could have been an accident?" I said.

"No way. A disaster this big could not have been an accident."

"Think about 1906. Remember that huge earthquake that destroyed San Francisco?"

"Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"Well after that earthquake, a big fire destroyed what the quake didn't. That fire was an accident, caused by some lady trying to make breakfast with a caved in chimney. Who knows? This could have been caused by something like that."

"She's got a point, you know." Artemis said.

"Maybe," Holly shrugged. Suddenly, the phone rang. Holly picked it up, "Lower Elements Police. This is Captain Holly Short. How may I help you?"

"Hey, Holly!" the voice at the other end said. "How ya doin'?"

"Foaly," Holly said, "you feeling better?"

"Little bit. Hey, I heard about Spud's. Have you been there yet?"

"Yeah. Actually we just got back."

"We? Did you go with Trouble? Or Chix?"

"No, I'm with Arty."

"Oh, good. So, Holly, I found something."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I found it must have something to do with our fugitive dwarf."

"Oh, really?" Holly said sarcastically, "who would have guessed?"

"Enough with the sarcasm, Holly," he sighed, "our dwarf, Bobb, worked with Turnball and Unix the sprite back during your initiation. And I discovered that Unix is still in action. He stole some Koboi Double Dex and some bombs."

"It's Unix, huh?"

"Yup. He was last seen above Spud's but got away before any officers could get there."

"That doesn't help much. Where am I supposed to look?" asked Holly, slightly annoyed.

"It turns out I traced him to San Francisco. For some reason he chose a city in a county halfway around the world. He shouldn't be there yet. It'll take hours to get there by air without stopping. It should take at least a day for him."

"San Francisco, eh?" Holly confirmed. A grin slowly spread across her face. "Good job, Foaly." With that, she hung up.

"Unix made a very bad mistake," she told us, "and we've got more than just a few guns and a child genius…we've got a native San Franciscan."

Artemis smiled, too. It looked too big for his usually serious face. I looked at both of them for a long time. I didn't have a very good feeling about this. "Hey," I said suddenly, "where's your bodyguard-whatchamacallit?"

"Butler…?" Artemis said. His face got even more paler than usual.

"Oops," said Holly, "I was in such a hurry, I forgot."


	10. Where Butler Is

Chapter ten: Where Butler Is

**Butler's POV**

"Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod!" I said to myself. "Where is he? Where? Mr. and Mrs. Fowl!" Calm down, I thought, calm down Domovoi. He's going to be alright.

"What is it, Butler?" Mrs. Fowl said coming around the corner from the living room.

"Artemis is gone! He just disappeared!"

"What? He's gone?!"

"That's what I said."

Mrs. Fowl started up the "Ohmigod"s again.

I soon found that Lauryn was missing, too. Two teenagers missing without a word was mighty suspicious.

Mrs. Jeffrey's was already looking through the photos of Lauryn to put on the "missing" posters. Mr. Jeffeys was calling the police.

"Hello? Is this the police station? Good. My fourteen year old daughter and my third cousin twice removed's wife's cousin's eighteen year old son are both missing! …I think it was last night…no…Lauryn Jeffreys and Artemis Fowl…that's right. I said third cousin twice removed's wife's cousin's _son_…no, in this case Artemis is a boy's name…yeah…short brown hair, brown eyes, glasses…black hair, one blue eye, one brown eye, usually wears a suit…of course an eighteen year old boy wearing a suit is unusual but he does…yes, I'm sure he has different colored eyes…yeah, he's gone missing before…for almost three years…yes, he came back unharmed, except for one hazel eye…no, she's never left the house alone before…with friends…they don't know anything about her disappearance…she disappeared over night…with the boy…no, neither of them have been known to kidnap anybody, what kind of question is that? …yes, I know the Fowls have a history of crime but that stopped decades ago…I don't think Artemis even knows his family members were criminals…what kind of question is that? …yes, Artemis has a bodyguard but this happened at night…the Fowls are only visiting here for about a month more…yes, the whole family was staying in one room…except for Artemis' bodyguard who slept in the TV room…I don't know how he was taken without his parents noticing…Lauryn shares a room with her sister…her sister didn't see anything…sure…yes…3333 33 AVE, San Francisco 94116…that's right…okay, thank you…bye."

Mr. Jeffreys hung up the phone and sighed. "They'll be here soon," he said, "the police officers."

"Good," Mrs. Jeffreys said, "oh, where could she go?"

After a few moments there was a knock at the door. I answered it.

"Mr. Jeffreys?" a policewoman with brown wavy hair put up in a ponytail was standing on the front step. Behind her were two policemen. Behind them was a flashing police car.

"No, I'm the missing boy's bodyguard. Come in," I said. Mr. Jeffreys greeted them inside.

"Thank you for coming," he said, "we're so worried." We all sat down around the round, red dyed dining table. The brown-haired policewoman introduced herself as Officer Ann Adriano. The other two were Officers Alex Wong and Karl Gleason. "We understand that two teenagers, Artemis Fowl and Lauryn Jeffreys are missing." Officer Adriano slid a piece of signed paper across the table. "You don't mind if we look around a bit, do you?" The piece of paper was a search warrant.

"Please," Mr. Jeffreys said.

_Haven, Lower Elements_

**Lauryn's POV (still)**

"Look on the bright side," I said, "the Captain's here. And Butler's back to cover up for any evidence the police find that's related to fairies." I started whistling "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" from Life of Brian.

"There is that," Holly said, "thanks to him, we probably won't be discovered." Artemis just stared ahead. "Anyway," she continued, "enough with the small talk. We got a dwarf to find."

**A/N: Keep watching for chapter eleven!! Where's Bobb? Will the People still be a secret when the cops are through??**


	11. Interviews

Chapter eleven: Interviews

**Lauryn's POV (do I really have to keep writing this??)**

Compared to the way up the chute, the way down was like a baby ride at Happy Hollows. That's exactly what I said when we reached the top. "Whoa," I said, dizzy, and glad to have my feet on solid ground again, "compared to the way up, the way down is like a baby ride at Happy Hollows."

"Happy what?" Holly said.

"Happy Hollows," I said, "it is the most babyish theme park ever." I put a lot of emphasis on the "the". "The best ride is probably the wooden benches the grown ups sit on while the little kids are at the playground."

"I see," Holly said.

_San Francisco, California, USA_

**Butler's POV**

Officer Adriano shuffled her papers and cleared her throat. "So," she said, "Mr. Butler, Did you hear or see anything suspicious last night?"

"No. I was sleeping. I usually sleep very lightly but I guess that's how Artemis learned to walk softly."

"When was the last time you saw them?"

"Last night I checked on Artemis while he was reading _The Amber Spyglass._He was there. Totally calm and unsuspicious."

"What was he wearing?"

"His suit."

"How did Lauryn and Artemis get along?"

"Like siblings. They annoyed each other often and disagreed but they didn't hate each other."

"What are their friends like?"

"Artemis doesn't have any friends. He spends all his time on his laptop. I don't know Lauryn well enough to know how her friends behave."

"Do they have any enemies?"

"Artemis has plenty of enemies…um…from _school_. I guess he's such a snob that everyone detests him. And again, I don't know Lauryn well enough."

**Angeline Fowl's POV**

"Did you see or hear anything suspicious last night?" Officer Wong questioned.

"No," I said, "I didn't hear a thing. Artemis was staying up a little for a glass of water and he never came back." I was close to tears.

"When was the last time you saw them?"

"Last night before bed. Lauryn wanted to stay and do something, I'm not sure what, and Artemis was in the kitchen getting a drink of water."

"What were they wearing?"

"Their normal clothes. Artemis had his suit on and Lauryn was wearing her basketball jersey."

"Did Lauryn and Artemis get along?"

"As far as I know, yes."

"What were their friends like?"

"I never met Artemis' friends, though I often heard him talking to them over his phone in his room. He never speaks of them, I don't even know what they look like. All I know is that one is named 'Holly'. And Lauryn often goes and plays basketball with her friend, (what's her name?) Sarah."

"Do they have any enemies?"

"I don't know. Artemis never speaks of his social life or any enemies he might have."

"When's he gonna be here?" Holly said to Foaly over a LEP communicator.

"Maybe…" Foaly guessed, "tomorrow morning, according to my calculations."

"And what are we supposed to do until then?"

"Perhaps Artemis can go and make sure his parents aren't too worried."

"Omigosh!" I cried, "he's right! What are my parents thinking?"

"Since when did Arty sound like a girl?" Foaly said.

"That's not Artemis," Holly said, "It's his girlfriend."

"Hey!" Artemis and I said simultaneously.

"You told her about us?" Foaly accused, "why?" he sounded angry.

"No," Holly said, defensively, "me 'n Artemis were talking and Lauryn, Arty's girlfriend, excuse me, _friend_, heard us talking. And…" she switched to what I later found was Gnommish.

"Oh, okay," Foaly said eventually, "well, Artemis and Lauryn, I suggest you go home and reassure your parents."

"We'll do that," Artemis said, "I'm surprised that never occurred to me considering my genius."

"Wait a minute," I said to Artemis, "you're supposed to be a genius?" Artemis glared daggers at me. They hurt. "Ouch," I mimicked being in pain as I laughed.

**Lila's POV**

"Did you see anything strange or suspicious?" Officer Gleason said.

"What does 'supsician' mean?" I said pronouncing every syllable slowly. Actually I knew what suspicious meant but I wanted to annoy him.

He sighed. "Did you see anything that would suggest that your sister was kidnapped or ran away?"

"Wait…" I said squinting and rubbing my chin, "she ran away?"

"Maybe," he said, "she could have been kidnapped."

"She was kidnapped?"

"Maybe, she could have run away _or _gotten kidnapped."

"Wow," I said, "that would be awesome. Where'd she go?"

"That's what we're trying to find out."

"Where's that?"

"Up your butt n' 'round the corner."

"Hey!" I guess he was smarter than I thought.

**Lauryn's POV (I'm just gonna have you assume it's Lauryn's POV unless I state otherwise, k'?)**

We walked down the street from where Holly dropped us off and we climbed the stairs and knocked on the door. We heard footsteps and my mom opened the door.

"Lauryn! Artemis!" She cried as she hugged us both, "where were you?"

Artemis opened his mouth to speak but I was worried I might ruin it so I made it up myself. "Early this morning," I said, "we went to Stonestown Mall to get this book I wanted real badly and we had to get there early 'cause this is the night the book first comes to the store then we went to get some earrings for me 'cause you know how I'm running low then we got some breakfast and then we went to see a movie and we went back to the bookstore to get this Arana comic I really needed and then we went to get lunch at Chevy's then we went to that store on Taraval to get more uniform shirts and pants for school and here we are!" Everyone else must have heard my voice because they all came rushing to the door.

"Lauryn!" They cried. "Artemis! Thank god you're here! We were so worried." My sister didn't look as happy as she usually looks, but she did have a little smile on her face. I guess she didn't want to be an only child. Who would there be to annoy?

**A/N: Not the end!! (obviously!) **


	12. Bobb and Unix's Hideaway

Chapter twelve: Bobb and Unix's Hideaway

When we had a nice dinner the others left for bed. Artemis and I lagged behind though. When they were out of earshot, Artemis said to me, "Tomorrow morning, 9:00. We have to meet Holly." I didn't answer, just walked downstairs. I was lying on the top bunk of me and Lila's bunk bed awake with the light off. I checked the time. 11:46. Gotta get some sleep, I told myself, gotta get some sleep. You're gonna be chasing criminal dwarves and sprites tomorrow. Gotta get some sleep, gotta get some sleep, gotta get some sleep, gotta get some…

_Ring! Ring!_ The alarm clock went off at 7:00. I quickly turned it off as to not wake Lila or my parents. I put on my glasses and got dressed. I wore my most comfortable clothes: my basketball jersey. I got plenty of time to get ready. I haven't really chased down criminal fairies before. I wanted to be prepared with everything I might need; namely, a good breakfast of an omelet, bacon, and orange juice.

They morning whizzed by. Before I knew it, Holly was talking with Foaly. "Is he here yet?"

"Yes," Foaly said, "you know that movie theater that was closed down a few years ago?"

"Yeah…"

"They're there."

"I'll head over there now." She hung up.

"How're we going to get over there?" I asked.

"Butler is going to drive us in the Bentley," Artemis said. "And Holly's magic is really low, I don't think she can shield. She seems to have dropped her spare acorn." He smiled mischievously at her. "Sorry," Holly said crossing her arms and jutting out her lower lip.

"You know what?" I said, "I could grab some of Lila's smaller clothes for Captain Short."

"Good thinking," Artemis said.

"What?" Said Holly, "I don't…what?"

"You're wearing Lauryn's sister's clothes over your uniform for a little while, until we get into the theater."

I soon brought out a pair of jeans and a T-shirt with pink and yellow flowers embroidered into it. "What?" Holly said, "No!"

Half an hour later, we were sitting in the Fowls' black Bentley. Holly was muttering some things in Gnommish to herself I guess about how Lila's clothes were sticky and stunk of cat hair and popcorn. We arrived at the boarded up theater at about noon but Holly pointed out that it would be wise to stay put until nightfall then sneak in. "All who agree with this say 'I'!" We all said "I."

To pass the time, we all ate hot dogs a few donuts and we watched a movie at the working theater across the street. Before we knew it, it was dark.


	13. An Exciting Experience

Chapter thirteen: An Exciting Experience 

Holly was now back in her Section 8 uniform and trying to pry open the door. "How did they get in here?" She muttered. "It's, like, a fortress."

"Step aside, ladies and gentlemen," Butler said and pushed open the door. Actually, busted is more appropriate.

As we stepped inside the air got warmer and thicker as if it had been sitting around in there for centuries. "Ew," I said, swatting at a fly, "why'd they have to choose this place to hide? What about the nice abandoned warehouse down the block?"

We heard the flitter of wings. Not small like a fly, but maybe about the Captain's size. "Bingo," Holly said as she spotted a small, crouched figure on the balcony.

The figure was short and stout with a large, burly beard that seemed to cover his whole face. From the poor lighting, it was hard to tell exactly what he was wearing but we could make out the rags and tattered cloth a poor person on the streets might wear. He didn't seem to see us. Silent as a mouse, Holly drew what looked like a manual dart gun from her belt and aimed it at the figure. She pulled the trigger and the dart shot out of the gun like a rocket. It hit the figure in the side. Without a noise, the figure fell to the floor. "That was too easy," Holly said. "Now where's the other one?"

She began to put away her gun when we heard a thump and a cry. Instinctively, Butler drew his Sig Sauer and pointed it at where the thump came from. Holly was lying on the ground unconscious and out of the corner of my eye I saw a dark figure disappear behind a wall. "I got an idea," I whispered.

"What?" Artemis whispered back.

"Let's get out of here."

"Shhh!" Butler quieted us. Without taking his eyes off the wall the figure hid behind, he picked up Holly's dart gun. A dark head appeared behind the doorway and Butler shot. The dart made a whizzing noise as it flew through the air and hit the person in the shoulder. He, too, fell down with a flop.

"That's both of them, right?" I whispered.

"Yes," Butler said. "Lauryn, go get the one Holly shot up there on the balcony, Artemis stay near Holly, try to revive her. I'll get the one I shot."

As soon as I reached the balcony, I heard another thump and cry. That's funny, I thought, I thought we already knocked out both of them. When I saw the figure Holly shot, I almost screamed in anguish and frustration. It wasn't a person at all, but a dummy made of cloth and stuffing. I instantly looked down on Artemis. He was there. He was just lying on the floor unconscious. I rushed back downstairs to tell Butler, but I found him also on the floor unconscious with a dart in his side. I looked around in fear of what might be lurking in the shadows. Quickly, I tried frantically to find something that could defend me. And something sharp whizzed past me.

Instantly, I crouched down on the ground. I heard and "ow!" and a "d'arvit!" and a thump and all was silent. "Whazzahapp'nin?" I heard someone say.

"Captain!" I whispered. "You're finally awake!"

"Wait…wha…?"

"Shhhh!"

We heard another "d'arvit." And Holly crawled over.

"Lauryn, come over here!" Holly whispered. "Look! Looks like Dumb shot Dumber." I followed to find a green-skinned winged fairy lying there unconscious. "All we have to find is the dwarf." The captain handcuffed the fairy and sat him against the wall.

"Hold on," Holly said as she put on her helmet and pressed a little button on the side. "There he is." She started creeping against the wall toward the balcony. I heard another thump. I followed until I saw an unconscious dwarf lying on the floor beneath the balcony. Holly was handcuffing him. "Mission almost accomplished," she said. "All we have to do is wake Arty and Butler."

"I'm already awake," Artemis said surprising us. "And don't call me Arty. Where's Butler?"

"Over there unconscious," I said nodding to his direction.

Somehow, we managed to get Butler into the Bentley without anyone seeing us. "Now," Holly said, "we have to find out how to get Foaly's equipment working."

"I don't believe that's a problem," Artemis said. "Here's what I found on one of these two cretins. Actually, maybe they aren't the cretins we think they are." He held up a sort of mechanical device.

"What the hell is that?" I said poking it to see if it bit.

"I think it's a…" Holly began, and then her eyes grew wide. "Is it?" She asked Artemis.

"I think so," he said, "let's see what happens when I flick this switch right here…" Nothing happened. "Huh," he said.

"Hold on a sec," Holly said as she climbed into the driver's seat. She turned the key in the ignition and put it in gear and pressed the gas pedal. She had to reach far with her foot because of her height. The car didn't start. She tried again and again. "Flick the switch back," she said to Artemis. He obeyed and she did the same procedure. The car started. "Awesome!" She said hi-fiving me. "Way to go!"

"Wait a moment," Artemis said. "It's true that we found what was making the equipment malfunction, but who was doing it?"

"What do you mean?" I said. "We found them. There they are in the trunk."

"They couldn't do it," Artemis continued matter-of-factly. "Holly, you know how stupid they are. They haven't the brains to multiply two by two."

"You're right," Holly said and immediately dialed up Foaly.

"Absolutely right," he said once the captain explained the situation. "Why don't you come back? I think I'm well enough to come back to base without getting everyone sick."

"I would," Holly said, "but Butler's still unconscious and Artemis doesn't know 'drive' from 'reverse'. I'm too short and Lauryn's too young and would probably kill us all."

"Hey," I said, desperate to get a word in, "I've driven plenty of things."

"Like what?"

"Go carts."

"Without crashing?"

"I went about five laps before crashing."

"Go ahead."

I climbed into the driver's seat and looked at all the little buttons and switches and felt dizzy. I can do this, I thought, I can do this. This is a matter of life and death. Slowly, I turned the key and put the car in 'drive'. I slowly pressed down the gas pedal. The car moved. If I had freaked I would have crashed into the car in front of me but I remained calm and turned the wheel to get into the lane safely. I kept my foot on the pedal. "Any day now," the captain said and instantly I snapped out of my trance. I glanced at the speedometer. 5mph. I pressed harder and frantically tried to keep the car in the lane. I bit my lip. "W…where to?"

"You're house would be best."

"Great," I said.

"You do know the way, don't you?"

"Yeah. I'm like a homing pigeon. I know the way home from anywhere within a hundred miles." After twenty minutes of stopping and going jerkily and cars honking at me, I drove the car safely into the driveway of my house. "Told you so," I said as I relaxed for the first time in twenty minutes.

"I guess I can take down the 'student driver' sign from the back now, right?" Artemis said.

**A/N: Sooooooooo…end of chapter thirteen. What's going to happen next??**


	14. Jokes and Things Besides That

Chapter fourteen: Jokes and Things Besides That

We just sat in the Bentley while we decided what to do while Butler was unconscious. "Eat?" I suggested.

"How about we ask Foaly what to do about that dart," Holly said.

"While we eat," I said.

Holly smiled. "While we eat."

"Okay," I laughed, "my turn. Knock knock."

"Who's there?" Holly and Artemis said in unison. Artemis had a somewhat less-than-happy expression on his face, though Holly seemed to be having as much fun as I.

"Amos."

"Amos who?"

"Amos-quito bit me!" Holly and I cracked up.

"Ha ha," Artemis said. "Who gave these two Prozac?"

"Oh! Oh! I got one!" Holly said, taking a big bite out of her cookie. "Knock knock."

"Who's there?" I said, still laughing and stuffing my face with popcorn.

"Andy."

"Andy who?"

"Andy bit me again!" We both burst into a fit of giggles. Popcorn and cookie crumbs fell to the floor of the car. "You both are repulsive," Artemis scrunched up his nose and made a disgusted face.

"You got me back there!" I said as I wiped tears from my eyes.

"Won't be the last time," Holly laughed. "I'm not the serious cop I should be."

"Okay," I said, "I got another good one. Why did the rooster cross the road?"

"Why?"

"Because the chicken was taking a lunch break!" We burst into another fit of giggles.

"Did I miss something?" A voice from the back said which made us jump.

"You're awake," Holly commented as Butler sat up.

"Why do I feel dizzy?" he said as I continued stuffing my face with popcorn.

"Want some?" I said with a mouth full of popcorn and a cookie or two.

"Uh, no thanks," Butler said.

"Real butter," Holly tried convincing him. "Homemade cookies."

"We should go in now," Artemis said.

"That got it!" Foaly said. "My precious machines are cured."

"We still should come back," Holly said and then said something in Gnommish.

We arrived in the Section 8 HQ soon. "Hi," a centaur said to me, "glad to meet you at last."

"You must be Foaly," I said.

"Exactly, now hate to break it to you, but," he took a breath, "by the time we're finished you won't recall any of this happened."

I frowned. "What do you mean?" I looked at Artemis and he nodded.

"We have to min-wipe you," he said.

"You mean like brainwash?"

"Sort of."

"Oh," I gazed down at my feet. "I should have known." I looked up at all of them. The faces I saw looked back at me with a solemn expression. I smiled sadly. "Well, why the long faces? I understand. You're doing this so there won't be a risk of me exposing you."

"I'm glad you do," Holly said as she smiled too.

"If you'll just sit here," Foaly said, "we can begin." I sat down.

"I'll miss you," Holly said. "I may not have known you long, but I'm glad we were friends while it lasted." She came over and hugged me. I hugged back. "I'll miss you too." I said.

Foaly shook my hand. "I'm glad to have had your help."

"You're welcome," I said smiling. "It was fun."

Artemis didn't say anything. His pale face was expressionless.

"Alright," Holly said, "I'll need you to relax. _Relax…_"

I closed my eyes. Her words were relaxing. I felt myself drifting into sleep…_sleep…sleep…_

**A/N: _sleep…sleep…sleep…zzzzzz..._Don't go away! There's still one more chapter to go!**


	15. Epilogue

Epilogue

I woke up in my bed at eight in the morning. I lay there with my hands beneath my head and looking up at the ceiling.

Ah, I thought, it's nice to relax. Just lie here without a care in the world. Unlike Artemis. I wonder what he's doing right now. Is he just lying in bed thinking how great it is to relax? Like me? It _is_ great to finally relax. I wonder how Holly is right now. Darn. I should have asked for her number…

The End

**A/N: End of number one in Fairywings! I feel so successful! Keep watching for the sequel-Fairywings II: Prisoner of Alcatraz**

**Credits**

**Written by Artyfowl3**

**Title inspired by "Dragonwings" by Laurence Yep**

**Special thanks to-**

**-Carolyn Fasel- for her support and help with the story**

**-Ted Kuster and Mary Jue for their support and help**

**-Kai Lyons-Kuster for his support and typo-correcting**

**-Lilly Jue for waiting for me to finish these annoying credits and not **

**annoying me while I wrote**

**-All the members of and for **

**commenting and their patience**

**Thank you!**


	16. Announcement!

**Announcement**

Hello again, everybody! Long time no see. It's been, what, two years since I finished Fairywings? Well, guess what. I recently reread it and I was shocked at how terrible it was. Sure, some of you still think it's pretty good, but I think it's pretty crappy. So you know what I did? I went and replotted and rewrote the entire thing. No, I did not just edit it. I REWROTE THE ENTIRE THING. Oh, and I didn't just stop at rewriting and replotting. I went and changed Lauryn's name because I hate her name, I changed Sarah's name and made her a more interesting and involved character, I...Gosh, I'm spoiling it for you already, aren't I?

Don't worry, I'm not deleting this one. I'll leave it up for old time's sake. Instead I have changed the title slightly. I call it Wings of Fairies. It should be better than Fairywings. I have already posted the first chapter.

Please check it out! I would appreciate it.

-Demented Cookies


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